will i catch the moon/like a bird in a cage

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After concluding my portion of the boy trouble round-up at lunch today, my friend W leaned back in her chair and raised her eyebrows at me.

“I should totally fix you up with my brother.”
“Okkaayy….”
“He’s geeky, 39, drives a nice car…”
“Check, check, and check.”
“Loves to gamble, goes to Vegas like five times a year!”
“WTF*?? Have we just met??? Does he like sports too?”
“Oh yeah.”
“And this thought just now occurred to you?”
“Also, my family goes to Vegas for Christmas every year.”

[Brief pause while I talk myself out of proposing to a man I’ve never actually met.]

“W, will you marry me?”
“Only if I haven’t gotten married already in 5 years.”
“Shit.”

“Can I still come to Christmas?”

*Yes, I’m now the person who actually says “WTF” instead of “what the fuck”. It started out as a joke and now we just can’t stop it. We’re still doing it ironically though, so I think we’re safe.