When Bloggers Attack…

Posted by in WPBT

In a recent conversation with the Caesar’s tournament director, I was told that we would be sharing the tournament room during our event. No biggie there – we play well with others, and the room is certaintly large enough to accomodate both groups. Then I was told who the other group was, and once I got over my “Only in Las Vegas” moment did I start to have concern. Not for the group as a whole, of course, but more for myself and the things I might say in a sleep-deprived, likely hungover, mildly stressed state.

You see, we’re sharing the room with a bunch of Republicans. They’re having a fundraiser tourney to raise money for one of the Republican gubernatorial candidates. I didn’t ask which one, because I assumed Nevada had already gone through the primary process and made their selection, much like every other state in the Union.

It would appear however that is not the case. The primary is in August, and there are three Republican candidates remaining –

Lorraine Hunt, who is the current Lt. Governor, and really should consider a new website banner. (Psst…Lorraine…helmet hair isn’t flattering)

Bob Beers, who is a blogger, but it appears he allows a cat to do most of the blogging for him,

and
Jim Gibbons, who is considered to be the front-runner in the race and whom I really have nothing snarky to say about, except that he looks a little too much like Charlton Heston.

Did I mention that Bob Beers has a cat who blogs for him?

Now, I’m not aware of any big controversy going on in Nevada right now, and it’s probably best that I don’t, otherwise I’d be far too easily tempted to open my big mouth in the presence of Republican greatness. However, we’re talking about mixing in 100+ outspoken, wild and crazy guys, with what is typically considered to be the uptight party in American politics. I’ve identified a few possible scenarios for the event, and have laid odds or set the line where appropriate. All in good fun, of course. πŸ™‚

Number of drinks bloggers will order for the Republican tables, then giggle when the waitress drops off the round of “Brokeback Cowboys” –
10

Person most likely to show up in a blue Gap dress and ask for a job as an intern: Veneno

Odds that Easycure corners party leaders and forces them to listen to his detailed analysis of why banning online poker is unconstituional – 2:1

Person most likely to excute the “bump and swipe”, replacing a party member’s cell phone with their own: Chad

Number of phone calls received from a drunk hippie wanting to do a dial-a-shot before the switch is figured out: 8

Number of interns Chad calls using the stolen phone directory and convinces to meet him and “Representatives Speaker and Bracelet” outside the Excal: 5

Number of times someone makes a remark about “fucking Republicans”: 75

Number of party members Pauly and Change will invite to a “discussion” on the benefits of medicinal marijuana: 4

Number of bloggers who mistake Sir for the Republican candidate: 107

Can you think of any others?

UPDATE:
Inspired by a comment from Change100 –

Republicans get whiplash from constantly looking for Tom Delay when bloggers yell “Hammer!”

Something tells me we’re gonna have a really good time this trip. πŸ™‚