they say you’re pretty but you don’t think they’re right

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“If wish I had a video camera right now cause I could film this for some nature show. You’re stalking the damn thing like it’s some wounded hyena.”
“It’s pretty! And bright and shiny. And blue.”
“Seriously. Quit with the bouncing and the pacing and the circling.”
“It’s blue.
“Knock it off.”
“It’s actually cheaper than the one I came in here to buy… and it’s sure as hell cheaper than a car.”

“It” was a purse. A cute little patent leather bright blue purse that caught my eye when I came in intending to purchase another bag I’d been eyeing for months now. I am damn near powerless to resist anything in blue. Pretty damn powerless actually, since it’s sitting on my couch right now. Small impulse purchases keep off the big ones that much longer.

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“You know you’re just going through a rough patch right now and it’s going to get better, right? That it’s going to all even out soon and it’ll be okay?”
“I know. Lately though I’ve been thinking about breaking out the country music…”
“Oh holy hell I had no idea it had gotten that bad. I mean I’m a fan, but I know it’s not your style.”
“Well to be fair I was born and raised in East Texas so I am a bit genetically predisposed.”

The Country playlist is there on the iPod; comforting and calming in the ways in that My Chemical Romance and Rage Against The Machine can’t. I’m not sure there are answers there, but I don’t suppose it hurts to try.

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I’m pretty positive that in the history of having a cell phone (and I was an early adopter) I’ve never used as many minutes as I have this month. The topic of late has been the old standby, Boys Are Stupid. To be perfectly fair, girls are too, though that rarely suits our discussions. I’m always struck by how we always think that things will be so much better “if only…” …he said this, …I did that, …I were prettier, …he were better. But for every “if” we have, there’s someone else that has that “if” fulfilled and still isn’t happy. My biggest worry for myself is that I did the dumbest thing in the world… took what every woman says she wants – a man who loves her and adores her, mind body and soul, a man who would do anything in the world for her – and said “I don’t want this anymore.” I had my reasons, and they were valid. But should I have tried harder? It’s kinda late now to be asking isn’t it.

I have stuff. And I can run, and buy myself some time with distractions of moving and travel and planning, but eventually it’ll catch up to me no matter where I am.

Or what I drive.