Sometimes you just have to get it out there

Posted by in Not Poker

I can’t sleep…which is an all too common occurance for me. I’m haunted by thoughts and regrets, and it isn’t helping any. I’d try sleeping pills, but my luck I’d end up hallucinating like Scott does, and then the dog would need to go out or something, and I’d end up wandering around the complex high as a kite. Not that anyone would notice that really.

I know I’m not the only one who has things they would like to say to people in their lives, but for whatever reason can’t. And it eats at you. Writing is cathartic. Some people write everything out and then burn the paper. Others bury it somewhere. I suppose to me, putting it here is akin to shooting it out into space or floating it in the ocean – it leaves my hands and enters the vast abyss of zeros and ones, yet I can still retain it; refer to it. It’s a self-soothing thing – something to clear the mind and ease the soul.

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You’re like a brother to me, you always have been. But we never talk. Never see each other, except for twice a year; summer and Christmas. It’s really quite sad when you think about it, seeing as how we live in the same town.
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You’re good for me because you force me to break out of my little comfort zone at times. However, you’re also using me for internet access and hoping you’ll get laid. And since I don’t see hell freezing over any time soon…
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I have a number for you, and I hope it’s good. One of the few people from my past that I truly miss; need to try it soon.
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You were a mistake. One that had to be made, but never the less…
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It’s obvious that I mean far less to you than you do to me. And that’s heartbreaking, so I try not to think about it. But that doesn’t always work.
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I just want to be friends.
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Not a month goes by where I don’t at least once think about what a complete moron I was. I wish I could get a do-over. Our relationship will always be a little complex, and I certainly didn’t help any. I miss you tons.
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I hope you have a very nice wedding.
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I’ve always been a little jealous of you, even as your life was seemingly falling apart and mine was seemingly wonderful. This doesn’t mean you didn’t drive me up a wall then, and sometimes still do. But I deal with it better now.
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You’re very important to me, and I’m lucky to have you, but sometimes it feels like you’re undercutting me when you should always be raising me up.
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You have no idea how helpful it is to hear your voice sometimes.
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I wish you knew what you wanted.
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Had I known I was going to need to lay claim to friends in my divorce, I would have fought tooth and nail for you. You were wonderful, supportive, and fun. But now you’re gone.
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My oldest friend, I miss you very much. I find it hard to pick up the phone and call out of the blue given all that has happened to you recently, but I should anyway.
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I continue to be in awe of you. Despite being slightly younger than I am, you make me feel like a kid. You’ve acomplished so much, and I am so proud of you for it. I wish we talked more.
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I love you to death, despite your absent-mindnedness that always served to drive me and E nuts.
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You’re the reason I now pack practically every outfit I own when I go on a trip. One of the few men I’ve known who could listen for hours and not take over the conversation. I really need to get in touch with you.
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I’m glad I have you back.
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I don’t know what I would do without you. At the same time though, you’re a crutch and I have to quit falling back on you.
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Your poker addiction keeps you up late into the wee morning hours, and your stories are making me smile, which is more comforting right now than you know. Thanks.
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