I really didn’t intend for my last post to be a pity post, but I guess that’s what it came out sounding like. Sorry. Thanks to everyone though for the support. I think I need a change of scenery is all, but I can’t do that just yet, and patience has never been a virtue of mine. 🙂 And then there’s the whole “to do it would be kinda scary” thing. I just have to hang in there for a while, which I will. But I’m likely to have little mini-tilt moments that make me question it all. Must work on that patience thing, really.
As for the major…I know the actual field of study doesn’t matter come job time. I held a very nice job for six years totally degree-less. It’s more of a feeling that I’m not as up on things as I used to be, should be, etc. and feeling like everyone else is. Of course, it only takes a dumbass comment from someone in one of my classes (or the arguing they did today over a freakin’ test question…) to make me feel a little better about myself, but the doubts remain. Part of it is the fact that I keep having to justify my existence at UT in many different ways. It’s discouraging to be told you don’t qualify for financial aid because your GPA is lower than what they consider to be “academic progress”. Not because of the number; I know mine is ugly. But the past year were my best semesters ever, and I raised my GPA 1/2 point. That’s not academic progress? You can’t just look at a computer and tell, and then give me my loan, so I can go further into debt? No, I have to fill out forms, and then traipse all across campus to get them signed and turned in. It’s bureaucracy, and it’s stupid and annoying. (So says the government major). My minor is english, and I know I like that, and do quite well at it. But like the world really needs another english major? At least being a non-law school bound government major, I’m somewhat unique.
The bottom line is, I’d like to completely change my life – location, school, etc. (Or as so eloquently put by Mr. Jeff Tweedy – “What you once were isn’t what you want to be anymore”). But I can’t yet. So I get restless. And I agonize – I fought hard to get back into this school, have done really well, and I’d leave it? There’s something about finishing at UT; a pride thing. Hell, otherwise I would have moved back home to Houston and gone to UH. Certainly would have been cheaper, minus the therapy and drugs I would need from living with my parents again.
Thanks for the offer of…yard therapy…Scurvy. But I’ll pass. It’s so damn hot I don’t even want to go to the grocery store in the middle of the day. Better to wait until it’s dark and at least in the high 80s. (And I don’t want to hear it about going to HEB at night!)
Now hanging out with Mrs. Cant Hang; that sounds like something I could get behind. Actually Eva, a good friend of mine is having her bachelorette party in New Orleans about the time you’re going to be there…. 😈
So apparently I’m in good company for the whole hiatus thing. I guess someone took all our inspiration and hid it away somewhere. Bastards. Although, I think Bob found his on aisle 12…
I’ll still be writing, it just may not be here for a while. (For those of you who have asked where Read the Blog went…*ahem* ;)) I just need some time away from the computer. Although my RSS feeds are bugging me…
And I know I have more than 5 readers (and I love them all), that comment was in reference to when this blog started out – there were literally 5 readers max. I ranted a lot (sorta like the above) and posted silly links to amuse my friends. This was all in lieu of the corporate e-mail abuse that used to take place, where we did pretty much the same thing. I miss those e-mails…we were damn funny.
In Austin poker news, the boss hired another poker blogger. This brings the count of players in the department to 5 (I’ll be nice and count Rob); 3 of which are bloggers. We may not all be working at Full Tilt like those LA boys, but hey – we have solidarity. Also, apparently I’ve been volunteered to set up the First Austin Poker Blogger Tournament (the caps make it official). Ideally we’d have all 25 or so of us there…but I know that isn’t going to happpen. Tell me what works best for you and what absolutely doesn’t, and we’ll go from there. Adam has agreed to host for us. $50+$30 buyin okay for everyone? (Hey, the juice would all go to a good cause. ME 😉 OK, Adam can have some too…)
P.S. Anyone want to take a road trip?