“Nobody comes all the way to South Carolina to fold, pussy”

Posted by in Poker

Daddy to DoubleAs, during a drunken post-Bradoween game in Otis’s living room

I sit here in the Marriott lobby, after having kicked off the kid who was using the computer when I showed up after the Six Feet Under finale. I don’t feel too bad about that; he was looking at porn. I am a little emotional at the moment, not only because I went through more than a few tissues watching the finale, but also because I was fortunate enough to spend my weekend with some of the greatest people in the world.

I left Austin at 7pm Thursday and drove the torturous casino-lined way (they wouldn’t let me stop!!) to Mississippi, arriving at 3:30 am, where I handed over the driving duties to Bill and took a nap in the back seat. I gave it up again a few hours later near the Georgia border, then promptly fell asleep again in the passenger seat as Nancy drove the rest of the way. I was startled right after I dozed off again by a dream that Nancy was about to hit an eighteen-wheeler. All was really well of course, and back to sleep I went, not to wake up again till we were moments away from Columbia, and Nancy’s parents house.

It was great to see my best friend’s home town…seeing all those little sights of her life and seeing how happy she was to be home. I took a shower and changed at her folk’s place, then headed off to G-Vegas. Maigrey and I hit the hotel about the same time, where we quickly dumped our stuff and then headed for BadBlood’s.

Arriving at Blood’s, we headed straight for G-Rob standing at the end of the driveway, then politely stopped before hitting him. 🙂 It was great seeing everyone outside on the lawn…Al, Eva, G-Rob, Otis, Blood, CJ, Marty. Daddy and Iggy arrived shortly thereafter, then Maudie. A few minutes later, cards were in the air for that night’s tourney. My table was rather star-studded, with Otis, Pauly, Lefty, CJ, Gamecock, and Marty, but I managed to hold my own and see the final table. I finished 8th…Pauly crippled me on one hand then I was down to my all-ins.

I joined Al and Eva for the ride to the airport to pick up BG and Big Mike, and by the time we were done, the tourney was over. Only one place to hit now…the bar. We made a quick stop at G-Rob’s so BG could drop off his stuff, and then all piled back in the van for a cozy trip downtown.

The bar was a great time, aside from the lack of SoCo and it being a bit loud once the band started. You can’t keep good bloggers down though, and we made the best of it. I joined GameCock and DoubleAs in a booth and we were joined by a rotating cast of characters – Otis, Iggy, Lefty, G-Rob, and CJ. As is to be expected when this gang is together, offers of money for stupid tricks were made. BG got $25 for drinking the remainder of a bucket of beer, and Otis got $5 for finishing off a cup of ranch dressing (video forthcoming). Sadly, we discovered that the offer for the same act at the booth behind us was $100 from Iggy.

Bars close at 2, and one thing South Carolina has is some weird-ass drinking laws. Al, Eva, Big Mike, DoubleAs, Maigrey and I headed out to a diner by the hotel, dropping Al off on the way to rest up for the big day we were having in a few hours.

We had a blast at the diner. We were joined by TeamScottSmith who discovered first-hand how silly the liquor laws are here. Beer was available at the diner, but all bottles had to be off the table by 2. 10 minutes till; that’s no problem for this gang. Still the waitress said she couldn’t bring a beer to Scott. “Get the manager” we replied. The manager came over and explained to us that in fact, a local policeman would be there 5 minutes to 2 to check that all bottles were gone. We assured her that we would be good, and the beer was brought. A few minutes to 2, there was a little bit left…so Scott poured it into an empty glass and we called it Dr. Pepper. No one was the wiser, other than waitress, who was awesome and didn’t care at all. We commented on how great she was and how we’d have to tip her well. I said “She’s lucky. We’re drunk poker players; we have no respect for money on a good day.”

Our time at the diner was over shortly after the promised officer did arrive, and came over to scold us for laughing so loud (not a hard thing to do in the presence of BigMike) and also for smoking tobacco products. Cigarettes were OK he said, but not tobacco. Once we got that worked out, Eva asked him if he would pose for a picture with the girls. He declined, saying that a fellow cop buddy of his had done that once, and “that picture ended up all over the internet”. Of course, we would never have done that. Eva then propositioned the cop, and got propositioned in turn. Dinner over, Maigrey and I gave DoubleAs a ride back to Blood’s to get his car, and then let him follow us back to the hotel. It was comical to say the least. Between my inability to turn the bright lights on, then off, and Heather’s skewed since of direction…I told her “Great. The greatest NL stratigist now thinks we’re complete morons.” She replied “That’s allright, he rebought twice tonight”. “Yea, and I’ve beat him heads-up”, I replied.

Off to sleep for the day ahead. We woke about 6 hours later and then met Big Mike, Al, and Eva at the van for the drive to Bradoween. We had to make several runs back to the hotel and our cars for all the liquor we brought, but finally got on the road. We arrived to a great BBQ lunch and then after some warm-up drinks, the tourney began.

Ah, the tourney. I was seated with TheMark, Otis, Mrs.TheMark, GameCock, and Daddy. It was gonna be tough, but got a bit easier after Otis was busted by the Mrs. I played for hours without seeing a pocket pair, and doing a lot of folding. I managed to keep my stack around its starting level with a few steals and good moves. AJ was the best hand I saw in the first few hours, and I called JoeSpeaker at the break to share with him the good news that my biggest pot came from playing AJ and hitting my straight on the river. After the break, my rush hit. Aces, Kings, AK, etc. all in quick succession. I bet well, I check-raised…I was doing great, and was one of the chip leaders at that point. And then it happened…

Me and the river don’t get along so well during blogger tourneys. Blinds at 5-10, I looked down in MP to find Queens. Daddy raised to 50 before me, and I smooth-called. Flop came 884, and Daddy bet 100. The details are a little sketchy at this point (I’ve been a little drunk since then) but either I called him then or raised, at which point he came over all-in. I thought long and hard…he had been showing such strength…but the only thing I was really worried about was an 8, and I didn’t see him raising pre-flop with anything having an 8. Did he have Aces or Kings? I couldn’t be sure…but finally decided that if I was going out with Queens, then so be it. I called his all-in and he told me it was a great call, as he flipped over A9.

Need I tell you what the river brought? I was out around 25th place, and it stung. I reminded myself that that’s poker, but still…I had been doing so well, and was proud of my play. I went off for a bust-out Long Island Iced Tea and a smoke, then came back to watch the action. Daddy told me that he had promised to BG that if he made the money, he’d refund my buy-in. It was a sweet offer, but I didn’t want him to feel bad for his 3-outer.

At the bar the night before, while sitting with DoubleAs and Gamecock, I asked who I was going to railbird if they both ended up at the final table. Being a frequent watcher and good-luck charm to both, my loyalties would be divided. Sure enough, they did end up at the same table once we were down to two. I was sitting on the couch behind DoubleAs, and remarked “It’s a little hard to railbird you guys if I don’t know what cards you have”. The next hand, DoubleAs checked with the table to make sure it was OK to show me his cards. He called an all-in with them, and as it often is in the hands of a blogger, the hammer was good. “I only won that because April was watching” he said once the commotion had died down. (Video of said event forthcoming).

At the final table, I assisted Maigrey in her dealing duties by acting as the automatic shuffler. It was a great table, and Pauly played very well. Daddy did make the money, and did keep his promise. (Sappy video from Gracie forthcoming). Live blogger tourneys are a thousand times more fun than online, and it was an amazingly good time.

Tourney over, it was drunk Olympics time, which were of course comical. Once they ended, Gracie started videotaping a live version of one of mine and Maigrey’s IM chats, then joined in herself once DoubleAs took over camera duties. We were then joined by Maudie, and a guest appearance from G-Rob and DoubleAs himself. I’ll save the details of that chat so as not to ruin it when Gracie posts it, but I can think of one person who will be interested in it…

Our video session was cut-off when we noticed a human climbing the trees at the other end of the yard. We quickly ran over to see what was going on, and caught TeamScottSmith swinging from tree to tree. Once we coaxed him down, DoubleAs and I remained on the porch and had a great talk about all things poker. It got even better when we were joined by Maigrey and BG and then began discussing specific hands, dealing out cards and talking about how we would play them. We ignored the cash-game going inside and the party in the driveway, because we are poker dorks. That chat however was easily one of the biggest highlights of the weekend. (But did we videotape that? Nooo, of course not. That would have made sense.)

We gave in to the cash game around 3am though, and convinced GameCock to stick around and Iggy to join us for a little short-handed .25/.50 NL. Did I mention there had been drinking? Otis’s brother Jeff and The Wolverine were in the game as well, and we all laughed quite a bit as we played cards and polished off half a box of Club crackers. We attempted dial-a-shots of everyone we had a phone number for, but you’re all no-fun deadbeats and didn’t answer. I have no idea what the time was in Canada at that point, but jeez Joanne…we can usually always count on YOU!

Finally around 4am we decided to call it a night and Maigrey and I caught a ride back to the hotel from DoubleAs and then finally fell asleep around 5 this morning, not to wake up till 1:30 in the afternoon. We got up and got dressed, with plans to have lunch before Maigrey left town. Those plans were a bit thwarted when I realized I had left my car keys in Al and Eva’s rented van. Thankfully they hadn’t left for the airport yet, and were instead hanging out with the Bloods. We headed over to pick up the keys and then got to participate in a very special private tourney.

You’ve read about the chip challenges that BadBlood and Mrs.Blood play with the minis. We were treated to them first hand, and got to take part as well. The first game Al and Maigrey played with the minis, and both were knocked out in minutes. The final game Iggy, Daddy, and I stepped up to the challenge, with Daddy being the first to go out and me taking out Iggy and miniBlood when I flopped a set of sevens. Never have I felt so bad for busting anyone out of a game! His sister took revenge though, and had me out a few hands later. Those kids are ruthless!! I would like to point out though, that I was the last-longer blogger. 😉

Daddy and Iggy hit the road shortly thereafter, and then Al, Eva and BigMike took off for the airport. We all said our good-byes, then Maigrey and I went to dinner, where I discovered the greatest thing about the South – sweet tea is an option. Now just a few hours of sleep before we hit the road for home. I really do hate to leave though.

Tons of pics and video forthcoming, once I get back to my laptop and can edit as needed. Some of what happens in G-Vegas STAYS in G-Vegas, after all. 😉

It’s hard for me to explain to others how special this weekend was to me. Most people don’t get it…hanging out with a bunch of people you only see once a year at best; mainly talk to online, and then another large group of people you’ve only read about. It’s one of those things that you just don’t get unless you have a similar experience yourself. But arriving at BadBlood’s Friday, it felt like coming home. We really are a family…a slightly dysfunctional and alcoholic one perhaps, but still a family. We love each other, look out for each other, and have a unique shared interest that bonds us together. I truly count you all among my favorite people in the world, and I thank Otis and BadBlood for giving us an opportunity to get together once again.