Memo to my fellow Texans: Don’t Vote

Posted by in Not Poker

I was just reminded by a commercial from the Secretary of State, urging us all to “Vote Texas”. Now, I could go on about the stupidity of such a campaign, which cost us God knows how many tax dollars, and is incredibly pointless, because really, do I have a choice in which state’s elections I take part in? Like I can just jaunt up to Michigan one fine Tuesday and vote in their election if I perceive it to be more exciting than ours? Anyway. Taxes wasted, stupid government, blah blah blah. [And yes, I get the point of the campaign, but it’s a stupid execution.]

The important thing is – sit your ass at home in these upcoming primaries. Yes, you read that right – a government nerd; a woman who used to threathen her staff with witholding their raises unless they registered to vote – is telling you to not. Not yet at least.

As I’m sure most of you know, we have two independent candiates running for Governor this year (actually we have more, but let’s focus on the ones you’ve actually heard of, k?). In order for them to get on the ballot, they’re going to need lots and lots of signatures from people who did not vote in the primaries. If you’ve ever actually looked at this web site, you know who I’m voting for, but even if you’re a diehard Republican, you should still sit this one out. I mean come on – like Rick Perry really needs your support in the primary? Have you looked at his opposition??? There’s “The support for Government schools (public schools) will collapse just like the support for Marxism collapsed in the East” guy and “voters know Texas is in perilous need of God’s help” guy. While they are part of the reason I love Texas politics, they aren’t exactly stiff competition. And even if you have no intention at all of voting for Kinky or Carole, you should still support their efforts to get on the ballot, because it’s that whole democracy thing in action. The fact that our best chance of getting poker legalized in Texas lies in the hands of one of them doesn’t hurt either. [This statement is based on the fact that they are the only two who have even entertained the idea – Strayhorn because she knows a cash cow when she sees it, and Kinky because not only is he a player, he financed his campaign with slot machine winnings.]

That said, none of this matters at all if you aren’t even registered in the first place. And if that is the case, you seriously suck as a human being. So – get registered, don’t vote in March, sign a petition (just one please) and then you can vote in November. You even get a sticker.