I’m Pretty Sure Freud Would Have Something to Say About This…

Posted by in WPBT

If the MGM Grand is the attractive, reliable, dependable, fun casino I’d marry, then Caesars Palace is the bad boyfriend who, despite never calling when he says he will and rarely making you feel special, will whisk you off for a tropical weekend getaway or take you on a Sephora shopping spree. He’s infuriating. He drives you crazy, and he’ll never commit, but he’s just so damn much fun. If you’re smart, you see the writing on the wall and lower your expectations and enjoy it for what it is. If you’re stubborn, well… you’re gonna end up angry most Friday nights.

When I planned the July event? I was angry many a time. That tournament was actually double-booked at the MGM up until just weeks before the trip, because I had high expectations and wasn’t fully pleased with what I was getting. Eventually I got happy, canceled the MGM, and everything went off as planned. I told Heather at the time, “I honestly think that if I had called them the day before and asked if I could come by with 100 people for a poker tournament, they would have said ‘Sure, no problem’ and it wouldn’t have been.” They knew what they were doing; my desire to see our name written on the poker room calendar in the blood of Caesar himself was unnecessary. And the stresses from before? All water under the bridge.

This time? Well, this time I knew better. Having dealt with them in all varieties, I can confidently say that poker people are damn difficult. They’re non-committal, self-centered, and notoriously hard to pin down on something. I made phone calls and didn’t expect calls back for at least a week. I knew I’d get them eventually, and I’d get the answer I wanted, and everything would be great. No worries.

But then I got told no. And then again. And then again. And so I started to think that maybe this would be a perfect opportunity for the boyfriend to show me what he could do. Knowing that e-mails get quicker responses than phone calls, I dug up my e-mail exchanges with the Caesars staff from this summer and fired off a request.

No reply.

Knowing that the poker business can be a wee bit fickle, I tried again; this time directing my request to another member of the staff.

No reply.

I start to wonder what I did. Oh sure, Vito always seemed a little annoyed with me, but I figured that was just his personality. And I only left that room for ten minutes, tops… what the hell could you all have done in that short span of time to get us banned from a freakin’ casino?? And would I not get a courtesy notice of said banning? Was it because we’re now felons and no one wanted to associate with us??? Boyfriend, if you’re not interested, just say so, so I can quit wasting my time and energy… I can take it.

I asked Tommy if he could drop by the poker room and let them know that the crazy blogger lady from Austin is trying to get in touch with them. Like any good assistant, he pawned the job on to someone else, and reported back with a name and number. I’ve never heard of this person. I call and leave a message. I leave another. I go in to full stalking mode and call some more. Finally I give up, accepting that he’s just not that in to me, and resign myself to asking out the loser guy who never has any money and drives a beat-up ’86 Grand Am. [I think you can figure out that analogy yourself] But before I give in and accept defeat, I call one last time…

And true to form, I get everything I ask for. Reasons are given and explanations are made, but no apologies, because that’s not how this boy rolls. He drives me crazy, but he’s shiny and new, flashy and plush, and he’s got a really big …structure.

This is my long and hopefully humorous way of telling you that we will have a private tourney, it will be December 9th, at 1:30 pm, and it will again be at Caesars Palace. For those of you playing, remember to bring your Total Rewards card from last time. For those of you not playing, the Boy Genius will be offering his course “How To Pick A Pony” in the adjacent sportsbook, or you’re welcome to either sleep in (weak) or snag a spot on the rail.

Buyin will be $80 buy in with $50 re-buy (1500 chips + 3000 for re-buy), and 40 minute levels. This is the standard structure that Caesars uses for their daily tournament. I figure it’s a good compromise – those who are serious about the tourney can take the rebuy at the start and have a great structure that gives them lots of play, and those who look forward to the cash games more can just take the 1500 chips for $80, and still have a healthy M. In my informal polling, I’ve heard that the only speaker you’re interested in is Joe, so I’ve got nothing planned there. Really, we can never top Michael Craig and Jay Greenspan, so why even try?

Overall, this is a very laid back trip. At this moment all I have planned is the tourney, mixed games, and boozing. It’s December, and I don’t know about y’all but come the 8th I’m going to be in great need of some serious unwinding. I’ll update with news when I have it, and I will be bringing back the texting tree for getting out the word when masses decide to congregate; look for details on that soon.