How to Win The Mookie

Posted by in Poker

1) Have dinner with friend, make it home just in time to sign up for tournament.

2) Maintain chip stack with textbook poker, due to steady stream of interruptions – the phone call from a friend asking if she can put you down as a reference for the Girl Scout leader application [“You’re just telling them I’m responsible and am okay with kids.” “Sooo… I have to lie?”] and later the younger friend calling to seek advice from the older and wiser one on matters of finances and roommates.

Turn on Mets game in the bottom of the 9th to bring them good luck. Watch as they get a triple! And then load the bases! And then… go to the 10th! Have father call you from the Astros game. Astros are winning! Watch as the Mets fall apart in the 10th, wonder if perhaps there was some mixup with uniforms.

Attention divided will get you through about 2/3 of the field before you reach the point where you really need to start catching cards. And that’s where step 3 comes in…

3) As Heather refers to it, “making out with the RNG”. And as JoeSpeaker likes to think of the RNG as a girl in this case, well that’s fine, we can go with that. I think the railbirds have something to do with it too, because the moment Al showed up for me I got hot. […in the card sense]

I pushed with pocket 7s from the small blind, found myself against Kings and Jacks, and flopped a boat. Al typed “that’s my girl” while I collected a nice 45,632 pot and was suddenly 2nd on the leaderboard. And the rush would continue. Just hands later I rivered CK and busted her. I felt bad for that, as she is a friend. But it’s poker of course, so admittedly I got over it quickly.

And girl cannot live on card rush alone (well, she can, but for this girl the deck would go cold on occasion) so from time to time I would have to rely on honest to goodness poker skillz. I has some. My favorite was the J4 bluff at the final table, me in the big blind calling a raise to just under 3xBB from Mike_Maloney on the button. Flop was Qd-9h-5c and I led out with 3xBB. He called. Qh hit on the turn, I bet 4xBB, now having put about 1/2 my stack in the pot and chanting “fold. fold. fold. fold.” Fortunately for me he did, or I’d be telling a different tale.

I had Aces once, and they got no action. Had Queens and got killed with them once we got heads-up, in a hand I knew damn well better, but tiredness and well, a case of the stupid, got to me.

I had just knocked out NewinNov in 3rd when I called his As-6h with my Ac-8d (paired the 8 on the flop), and was going into heads-up with a 202,530 stack to Buddeman’s 79,470. So when I saw that I had Queens the very first hand in the match? I was thrilled; visions of a quick and easy heads-up battle. I push here, I win, and we go home.

Except he raised, and when I re-raised he called. So when the Ace came on the flop, warning bells should have been going off for me. All sorts of them. I should have checked the flop to him, let him bet, then fold it and move on. Instead I bet out 45,000 (which was all but 12,000 of his stack). If he had any piece of that he was pushing, and of course he did… with the As-5d (because one piece wasn’t enough!). Him winning that hand evened us up, which didn’t kill me (as my wonderful rail was quick to remind) but it pissed me off. At myself.

It was going to take a big hand to get me back in the lead heads-up, and it came just a bit later. After me raising pre-flop, and then raising his flop bet, Buddeman pushed all-in on a 5h-4h-6h flop. He had me covered by about 20,000; but with Ah-5s I had a whole lot of outs, so I called. The 2s on the turn dropped my odds down, but the Jh on the river made the flush and put me back in the lead.

The final hand was his Kd-7c versus my Js-6h – paired the 6 on the flop and suddenly I’d won the Mook. As Speaker put it, “Austin Represent!”

Much thanks to our host, who, judging from his twitters, I’m not even sure was able to make an appearance tonight. And oh, my wonderful railbirds. We are nothing without each other, yes? Heather was perhaps the best good luck charm of all, and also served to calm me when needed and provide comic relief. And Speaker, showing up just in time to take over the hot guy duties from Al as the bar was closing. Girl power from Joanne, whom I miss so much! And Alan, who has a reputation for being bad luck as a railbird but clearly is not – or maybe just not for me. Apologies to the BuddyDank crew, as I was remiss in getting the show pulled up last night, between the phone calls and then, you know, the poker. The new website looks awesome though!

I can’t guarantee success for everyone with these steps – that whole making out with the RNG thing may prove a bit tricky – and it probably does help to be favored by Al, but hey, it’s worth a shot. Bet you Waffles tries it next week.