Emails from Scott #2

Posted by in Emails from Scott

If you so happen to find yourself in Austin, TX this weekend and are in need of a cheap diversion, Scott has a suggestion.

W, now that you got your meds under control you need to start coming drinking with me. My new thing is Sunday night at Bull McCabe’s because no one is really there and I like to sit on the porch and play “Homeless person Scavenger hunt” for cigarettes. I send them all over looking for things like traffic cones and bicycles and reward them with smokes equal to the item they bring me. Only rules you have to remember are,


1. Homeless people will do anything for a Newport so don’t say things like go rob someone and bring me their wallet because they will

2. Never give more than 2 smokes out at time or the homeless people will flock to you like pigeons.

3. Be creative with your tasks. I got a homeless man to make me a giraffe out of foil he found in front of the pizza place

4. Always give extra rewards to the crippled homeless, they go above and beyond.

5. Make sure the tasks are doable, don’t tell the schizophrenics to go find God because they never come back.

Can I pencil you in for this Sunday?