$2 on Imgonnalose

Posted by in Not Poker

So, I’m at the track with friends and it occured to me that I’ve got a Sidekick so I can live blog like a cool kid.

I’m at Retama Park, which despite what the haters might tell you, is not “some two-bit” track featuring families with six kids and warm Bud Light, but rather a nice track where they make one hell of a margarita. (Naturally; we are in San Antonio after all)

I’m here with The Kid and some other friends, and while none of us are winning big, we’re having a great time. I’ve reached the point in the evening where I’ve had enough to drink that I really don’t care about silly things like handicapping.

We’ve just finished the 5th race, and my pick rallied at the end to come in 3rd. I had a pussy win-place-show bet and won $1.60 on the race. I’m down overall for the day, but I really don’t care.

Updates coming…

OK, new strategy. I’m just going to bet the chalk, cause my attempts at handicapping are worthless today. Last race I took #6, who started off strong, but by the end of the race was no where in sight. We had a photo finish and now an objection to the placement of the 1st and 3rd horses. Matt had the 2nd place horse to Show and our friend Priscilla had the first place winner to Show. She gets a pass for her bet since this is her first time at the track; Matt’s just a pussy.

I’ve decided to just hand Matt money and let him bet for me. He chose the 9 horse, named French Inhaler, just because that’s got to be the dumbest name for a horse ever. He started strong, but of course, blew it at the end and came in fourth.

Next race I think I will randomly I’M someone and have them pick a number.

…and that didn’t work much either, shockingly enough. The Cock picked 6, and he finished next to last. Horse racing is totally rigged.

Last race coming up, I had Drizz pick for me based on name. Sterling Boots was the selection, after Lady Skye was deemed to be too “dykey” and Winnie Kay too “pedophiliey”. The money seems to agree with Drizz as Boots is the current odds leader.

Firing Drizz.