Posted by in Not Poker

Normally I am a very impatient person, never content to settle, and like everything to work just as it should. Normally.

I can put up with a lot when I love you.

Which is why, for the past month or so, I have overlooked the various little glitches and annoyances coming from Wendine. I track four email accounts on the phone – mine, Todd’s, work, and band. Moving through them all had lately come to be a chore. Tap screen to go back to main menu. Expect immediate response. Tap screen again. Roll eyes. Tap screen again, this time more firmly. Sigh. See new screen.

Same thing with text messages. I’d tap the screen expecting a response and have to wait. Roll eyes and sigh. TwitterFon had gotten to the point that simply scrolling through quickly would lock everything up altogether. Annoying. I made do though, because I was kinda attached.

There are some things that can’t be overlooked though. At the Astros home opener, I had no signal at all. No way to tweet my rants about crappy playing, no way to twitpic the beautiful field on opening day. It wasn’t just me though, I heard from several friends that they too could never connect. Alright then.

Monday though, again at Minute Maid; this time in left field versus opening day’s right; and this time with several iPhone toting friends surrounding me. All tweeting and texting away [some even to EACH OTHER]. Me though; I could never get TwitterFon to connect and could only get a text message through if I held the phone slightly mid-air over Carissa’s lap. I’d had enough.

I’d been saying for a while that I needed to get a new phone. Those who don’t know Apple would look at me oddly; then I would explain to them that replacement was the standard Apple repair plan. Which really, you’ve got to love. [Hush Alan]. Very few other companies in the world will simply exchange your product because you’re not getting the performance you should. I realize it’s probably cheaper for them to do it that way. The difference is that normally you don’t have to go through multiple repair trips and arguing with tech support to get the replacement. It’s simple and easy.

With more important things to attend to yesterday (expiring Sephora coupon) I made my Genius Bar appointment for this evening after work. Checked in at the store and shopped the accessories while waiting my turn. Was summoned to the back, took my seat at the bar and explained my issues. Genius Dude simply nodded and began typing away on his MacBook. Then “I’ll be right back with your new phone.”

Poor Wendine. Laid there on the table, face down with her little scratches on the back. She’d seen so much. Austin. Houston. Vegas. California. Spoon. Decemberists. Metallica. The times she’d lit my way as I walked through a darkened club or, most recently, a pitch-black night. The first phone I’d never once dropped. My very first iPhone. I was gonna miss her. I gave her a little sad smile as Genius Dude came back with that little white box.

He plugged Wendine 1.1 in and began the set-up process while boxing up Wendine 1.0. “OK, so I’m just going to take this one here and put him in the box..”
“Her” I interrupted.
He laughed. “Oh. I’m sorry. OK, ‘her’.”
I smiled and explained “The iPhone is a her, the iPod is a he. They have names. Steve and Wendine.” [Shouldn’t this be in my file? I mean all the information that Apple collects, they didn’t grab that little nugget too? “Overly attached to her communication and music devices and gives them human names. Approach with caution. Remove device at your own risk.”]
“Steve and Wedine” Genius Dude repeats, laughs again and hands me my new phone.

He left the protective plastic cover on the screen. I like that. New Wendine is all bright and shiny, has no memory of anything that happened past Sunday night, and is ready for anything. I wonder what adventures she’ll see.